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Maria Alexander
Maria Alexander

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Aug 9, 2021

The Gift of Love — Or, How a Dildo Wound Up on Our Front Lawn

Earlier today, I was out picking up bits of trash that blow into our front yard. Except for the last two weeks, which have been insanely hot, I actually spend a lot of time watering the trees and cleaning up our front yard, even though we have gardeners come every…

Dildo

3 min read

The Gift of Love — Or, How a Dildo Wound Up on Our Front Lawn
The Gift of Love — Or, How a Dildo Wound Up on Our Front Lawn
Dildo

3 min read


Jan 11, 2021

I Fart Like My Mother

When I was a teenager, I swore with clenched fists on the albums of heavy metal musicians that I would never, ever be like my parents. I then spent my life distancing myself from their sympathy for Richard Nixon and love of Velveeta. I especially tried to grow away from…

Farts

4 min read

I Fart Like My Mother
I Fart Like My Mother
Farts

4 min read


Oct 23, 2019

Sister, Redacted: The Other True Story

10/23/1989 I’m 22 years old. I live in South Sacramento with a roommate. I left school a year ago and moved out of the family home because of my father’s violence. You, my little sister, helped me pack, and swore at Dad on my behalf, calling him an “asshole.” I…

Family

11 min read

Sister, Redacted: The Other True Story
Sister, Redacted: The Other True Story
Family

11 min read


Sep 26, 2018

The Future I Wish I Hadn’t Predicted

It’s really that bad. On February 16, 1993, I wrote an article for my friend’s fanzine, The Legions of Rassilon Quarterly, about “Internet.” (Here’s a link to the PDF of the original article so that you can see it’s real.) We called it “Internet” rather than “the Internet” back then. It basically consisted of…

Internet

7 min read

Internet

7 min read


Jul 6, 2018

The Greatest Story Ever Interacted With

This paper originally appeared in The WyrdCon Companion Book published December 2012, edited by Sarah Lynne Bowman, Ph.D. and Aaron Vanek. A great story reaches into us and takes root in our souls. It captures our devotion and imagination, our conversation and company. Those who are truly inspired by the…

Christianity

21 min read

The Greatest Story Ever Interacted With
The Greatest Story Ever Interacted With
Christianity

21 min read


May 9, 2018

“Goodnight, Marvin”

My In Memorium to Douglas Adams as published in April 2005 by Benbella Books as part of the Anthology at the End of the Universe: Leading Science Fiction Authors On Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (Smart Pop series), edited by Glenn Yeffeth. May 12, 2001 This is…

Science Fiction

4 min read

Science Fiction

4 min read


Mar 4, 2015

Dogma, Darth Vader and My Sexual Awakening

As it originally appeared in Issue Five, Spring 2009 make/shift magazine When I was six, my parents converted from the Greek Orthodox church to Judaism. They’d heard the church was giving money to transsexuals. Or was it terrorists? My father was Greek. My mother was Scottish. They converted as if…

Darth Vader

6 min read

Darth Vader

6 min read


Jan 3, 2015

Sister, Interrupted: A True Story

10/23/1989 You’re 17 years old. You wake up Monday morning at a friend’s house. She lives on a winding mountain road somewhere in Shingle Springs, California. It’s one of those teacher meeting days. No school today. A senior in high school, a member of student council, a cheerleader, a model…

8 min read

SISTER, INTERRUPTED: A TRUE STORY
SISTER, INTERRUPTED: A TRUE STORY

8 min read

Maria Alexander

Maria Alexander

178 Followers

I write things in Los Angeles. I've won awards. My life is crazy. Want more? Go to www.mariaalexander.net

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